Have you noticed that many marital arguments result from a disappointment with our spouses? We expect them to be something or do something and there aren’t or they don’t. We expect them to just know when we’ve had a hard day. We ask them, “What’s wrong?” and they say, “It’s no big deal!” but you know it is.
What if we sought a “monk’s marriage”? What if we decided that we would depend on God alone, expecting nothing from our spouse but entirely on God for all my needs, including emotional and relational need?
Then instead of resenting what my spouse fails to do or be, we will be overjoyed by every little thing they do. We would be filled with gratitude instead of resentment.
That’s why I want a “monk’s marriage,” the benefits of a being married to a godly woman, but with a monk’s attitude, expecting nothing, depending on God and being genuinely grateful for whatever my spouse chooses to bless me with.
“The sons of Amram: Aaron and Moses. Aaron was set apart, he and his descendants forever, to consecrate the most holy things, to offer sacrifices before the Lord, to minister before him and to pronounce blessings in his name forever.” 1 Chronicles 23:13
It is Saturday and you’re going to paint the bedroom. You choose your oldest pair of shorts, most faded T-shirt, and rattiest sneakers and dedicate them to painting; you set them apart forever. They will never be nice clothes again. In biblical terms, you have made those clothes holy.
That’s what the biblical word “holy” means; to set something apart for a special purpose. The items in the tabernacle and temple to serve the Lord would never again be used for common tasks. And the same is true for “holy matrimony.” When we commit ourselves to our spouse, we set ourselves apart for that person. We don’t live with one foot in marriage and one foot out. We are set aside as holy unto God and our spouse.
Reposted from Craig & Amy Groeschel’s From This Day Forward
Modern culture tells us we should look for that perfect person: “the one.” If we just find and marry “the one,” everything afterwards is wedded bliss, right? That’s a pretty unreasonable expectation to place on someone. Just think: would you want to be “the one” to bear that responsibility? Then why force those expectations on someone else?
God is the One who completes you. He created you to love Him with your whole heart and to put Him above all else. God is your One. Your spouse is your two. And when the two of you commit to seek God together, you can build a marriage—together—on a firm foundation that will stand the test of time.
What’s something you could ask God to do in you that would make you a better partner to your spouse? Become the kind of person you would want to be married to. Seek the One with your two. Begin by committing to pray together every day, even if it’s through a text message, over the phone, or silently.
I am not an expert marriage counselor though I have done my share being a pastor for thirty-plus years. One thing I have observed in many couples is that they do not understand the difference between men and women. I like to tell them they are “wired differently.” That is to say, that men think differently, their emotions are different, and they behave differently.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ alleviated the position of womanhood. No longer were they a man’s possession. Spiritually speaking, men and women are equal. Galatians 3:28 But equality does not mean sameness. So, remember men, remember ladies, were are equal but we are not the same. Via la difference.